Gloria Udeze narrates her battle with cancer which started in 2021 when she was just 25 years.
Where are you from?
I’m from Anambra State, and I studied Education/Political Science at the University of Nigeria, Nsukka.
Can you take us to the moment you were first diagnosed with cancer?
I was first diagnosed with cancer towards the end of February 2022; I was 25 years old. The moment was not peaceful because I cried and became devastated. I asked God, ‘Why? Is it because of my sins?’ Many things came to my mind, and I was depressed.
I cried all through the week, and at some point, I realised that crying wasn’t going to solve the problem. So, I went to the hospital and started my treatment. It was the worst day of my life because I never expected to be diagnosed with cancer at 25 years old.
What symptoms or signs led you to seek medical attention before the diagnosis?
Earlier in 2019, before I was diagnosed, I noticed a lump on my breast, so I went to the hospital, and it was removed. They said it was fibro-abnormal, and after it was removed, everything healed up. But the first spot where I found the lump still had the growth, and it looked as if it had not been removed at all.
Was it breast cancer?
No, the doctor said it was fibro-abnormal. It was just like a growth in the breast. So, after the wound from the surgery had healed up, the lump came back on the spot where it was earlier removed.
I went back to the hospital in 2020, and it was removed for the second time. Then, it was tested, and the doctor discovered it had nothing to do with cancer. But the condition turned out to be worse. The more it was removed, the more it kept coming back bigger than before.
So, in 2021, it came back again, and I removed it the third time. I was told it was not cancerous, according to what I was told. But in 2022, when I was diagnosed, I had to go to a different hospital, where I had to meet a surgeon.
The surgeon performed a biopsy on me, and that was how I ended up being diagnosed with breast cancer. The reason I went to a different hospital was because the lump there was causing me pain inside my breast, and the spot was itching me all the time.
My nipple also went inside, and the lump wasn’t in a single spot anymore. I had one close to my armpit. So, that was it before it was later diagnosed as breast cancer.
What kind of treatment have you undergone since then?
After having surgery in 2022, I took six cycles of chemotherapy the same year, but I skipped radiotherapy. After the six cycles of chemotherapy, I was placed on a hormonal drug, Tamoxifen, because I skipped radiotherapy and didn’t complete the treatment.
So, the cancer came back. The radiotherapy was supposed to be my last treatment, but I skipped it, not because I did not have the money, but because the doctor never mentioned it to me.
At the point I had the recurrence, it had spread to my lungs, so I started the treatment again this year. I have currently finished six cycles of chemotherapy, and I’m going to start my radiotherapy soon.
Can you remember the number of surgeries you have had?
I have had four surgeries in total. Three of them were minor surgeries, while the first was a major surgery.
How has your body been responding to the treatment so far?
I’m responding to treatment. The computed tomography, which is referred to as a CT scan, that I did recently showed that all my organs are okay. My kidneys, liver, heart, and lungs have been cleared.
There is nothing there in my body again, but I still have to do the radiotherapy because it’s one of the treatments. It is very important, so that there won’t be any recurrence by next year or in the next six months.
Some people believe that going through the process of chemotherapy is rigorous. How did you prepare yourself mentally for it?
Going through chemotherapy is not easy. At first, when I was diagnosed with cancer, I had no clue about it, and I knew nothing about chemotherapy. But when the injection was administered to me for the first time, that was when I knew what chemotherapy was all about, and I saw why people ran away from it.
Chemotherapy is a very harsh and aggressive treatment. It gives different kinds of symptoms for five, six days or more, and the experience differs from one individual to the other.
Chemotherapy can make you stop walking. It can just make you sit in one place and even make you start using the toilet like 25 times. You can be vomiting and even have constipation.
It is also capable of putting you in a depressed state of mind, and sometimes you will feel like ‘I don’t want to do this again, and I should die.’ It will tamper with your mental health.
Anything about cancer treatment, chemotherapy, immunotherapy, targeted therapy, or radiotherapy is going to mess with your mental health. It’s just for you to be strong enough and believe that you don’t want to die, but survive.
With those bad side effects, it shows that the treatment is working on your body, so at the end of the day, you are going to see the result of what you are treating, but it’s going to be painful.
That is the reason why I wasn’t too disturbed about it, because at the end of the day, I was seeing the results. Even though I was seeing the result, I knew I had to go through pain to see the effectiveness.
Did you also suffer from hair loss?
Yes, that is one of the effects of chemotherapy. Immediately you start the therapy, it will pull your hair. The way it happens is just like when you pour hot water on the chicken and then start pulling out the feathers.
When you sleep, you may wake up and find out that your hair has already been uprooted from your scalp. So, that is just one of the side effects.
Can you remember how much you’ve spent on treatments?
I cannot say a particular amount because I’ve spent up to N7m or N8m, and I’m still spending. This year alone, I’m still going to spend another N1.2m on radiotherapy.
Since 2022, when I was diagnosed with breast cancer, I’ve been spending money, and at some point, I tried natural remedies, but they didn’t work and worsened the cancer. Before I started the chemotherapy, I started the natural treatment. I did a CT scan, and the result said I had a very small cancer in my lungs.
But when I tried the natural remedy, and did another CT scan, the cancer had spread too much in my lungs. That is why I said it worsened my condition.
Would you say this is the most difficult phase of your life?
Before, I used to question God most times, ‘Why me? Why is this happening to me?’ But at some point, I began to realise that something would happen to everybody in this life. If someone has been destined to have it, the person will have it.
That was why I stopped questioning God. Although it’s very difficult for a young girl like me who is supposed to be thinking about something else, but I’m here treating cancer. In all, I give glory to God for providing all the money for me to do the treatment, and I’m seeing positive signs from them, too.
For me, I’m no longer thinking about cancer. I don’t even believe I have cancer anymore, even though I’m still going to the hospital. I just have faith in God that I won’t have it again. I don’t have to be punishing myself by thinking about it and blaming God.
When you think too much, it will put you into depression, and that can even make the cancer get worse, so I don’t need anything like negative energy around me.
So, how has this affected your outlook on life and maybe your relationship?
The cancer started during my youth service year. I was not able to go to my place of primary assignment. I was just at home, and the only thing I was doing was the monthly clearance.
When I completed my National Youth Service Corps, I could not get a job because I was still here in Anambra State with my parents. I couldn’t travel because I needed to be home for people to take care of me.
I said to myself that I couldn’t be working for somebody and be taking permission every day to go for treatment in the hospital, where I will spend four or five days, before coming back. Nobody is going to employ me in that manner.
So, I have to be at home, depending on people to give me money and all that. When it comes to the part of providing for myself, sometimes I’m sad about it because I cannot even work for myself because of the treatment, and being a cancer patient does not permit me to do anything stressful.
If one has to do a job, it shouldn’t be a stressful job because stress can contribute to recurrence. It comes to my relationship; I don’t think my sickness affected my relationship because the person I had been dating before I was diagnosed with breast cancer has been very supportive.
What do you do to sustain yourself now?
I don’t do anything. I just help my sister out in her shop. I don’t do anything because I visit the hospital almost every day.
Was there any moment you felt like giving up?
Of course, there were moments I felt like giving up, and that was when I had the chemotherapy, and it started disturbing me. There is something called “Chemo brain,” which is when chemotherapy messes with your brain and hormones.
One could sit in a place crying, and inside the body, the person might not know how to explain how he or she feels. At that moment, that person may be wishing for so many things for him or herself, thinking, ‘Let me just give up so that this thing will end.’
Feeling the pain in the body from morning to night is a very difficult thing to explain. That means it is already messing with your brain, and you will start thinking about something stupid.
The only thing that gave me the strength and made me feel positive each time I passed through those things was that I would always see the positive effect in my body. For instance, I had a lump in my breast before having the chemotherapy, but after that, I did not see the lump again.
It was a positive effect, and it encouraged me to take it again, even though I knew it was going to mess with my head.
How do you manage fear, anxiety, or uncertainty about the future?
The fear and anxiety are there naturally. Most times, I am afraid of having a recurrence. I believe I don’t have to live in fear, and I believe I have a God who takes away everything. I believe once the doctor declares me cancer-free, I’m cancer-free, and that affliction will not last.
The fear is there, and the anxiety from this experience is normal, especially when they used to say that pregnancy can make the cancer come back.
I’m still young, and I want to get married and have kids. So, the fear is there, but I believe that there is nothing impossible for God to do.
What has been your biggest source of strength throughout this experience?
I would say God has been my source of strength. My family and most of my friends have just been there for me. They care about me. The majority of them do not see me as a sick person. They take me as a normal person, and because of that, I’ve been strong, and everybody has been out there to see me survive. So, I have to be strong to survive.
Have you experienced any form of stigma because of your health condition?
If I meet a new friend and we exchange contacts, whenever I post something about cancer on my social media pages, because I don’t hide it, the person may end up saying, ‘God will heal you,’ and our conversation will end like that.
I have some of my friends who have stopped talking to me. I believe that those who will stay will stay, while others will leave. The only thing is to encourage oneself because at the end of the day, even if it’s not cancer, life circumstances can happen to anybody, and nobody is an exception.
I had cancer without any family history of cancer. But I was diagnosed with it, so that anybody can be sick. I don’t blame anybody who stopped talking to me.
If those who stopped talking to me decide to talk to me tomorrow, I will respond to them because I’ve lost interest in being bad to anybody or anything.
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